Seagulls have been showing up all over the country with one leg. An AGULL (Association for Gull Leg Lamenting) spokesman, Susan Wannalimb said yesterday:
"This activity is not new. This has been going on for hundreds of years. Kids think it is funny to catch Seagulls and rip off one of it's legs. They don't think about the Seagull's feelings. These Seagulls miss their legs!
"We have seen a huge rise in this activity over the last year. We now have thousands of Seagulls across the country coming to us for new legs."
AGULL has been giving gulls prosthetic legs for 17 years. They have tracked the occurrence of this for over 40 years. They say that the recent rise in one legged, and depressed Seagulls has almost crippled their organization. AGULL is just not equipped to handle this volume.
Police departments across America are baffled. LT. Marc Rogers of the Turtle-Angeles Police Department says:
"We had never heard of this before and did not realize that we needed to be watching for leg-nappers but, beassured that we now have a comprehensive plan in place to stop this travesty."
There is an easy way of identifying the culprits. They like to hang the legs from the rear view mirror of their car. This is usually not enough to prosecute but, the police can use it as a way of identifying those that need to be watched.
Wannalimb says:
"Our biggest mission is raising awareness. The only way to stop this is make sure people know about it and teach their kids that this is unacceptable. This will also help beach walkers to be watching for leg stealing teens. Happy cows come from California but, happy Seagulls have two legs."
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